Well my, my. What's been going on?

Where has Eoran been?

Well first of all my computer overheated and burned down. I lost everything and just recently started to find most of my stuff, links, images, websites ect ect. It took my mind off this blog because I wanted to get ost of my stuff back of course, while I borrow this cheapy computer, whom I hate to write on. Why? The keyboard is twice the size of my own! It's horrible, it's big it's heavy and ugly! But I will get my own back in 2 weeks, until then I must write on this, and you will have to bare with my typos and silly writting mistakes, haha.

But not only that other things has occupied my mind. A very close friend of mine lost his grandfather, he worried me for being "off" for so long, and when I heard from him he told me his grandfather has passed away. I know he has a hard time, his grandfather was close to him, and he has been so sad since he became sick some weeks ago and was hospitalized. Happily he passed away peacefully. I don't really believe in God, but my friend does, so I hope that someone up there in the top will take good care of his granddad.

God is such an interesting topic, well religion also. I never been religious but I never took a step away from him saying I don't believe in odd circumstances in this world. So I am not an atheist either, yet I do not believe in God. But not believing in him and saying he doesn't exist is two different things. Maybe someone is there? Maybe not. I do not know, neither do you, who read this, no one really does, and if they say so, I would say they lie. Religion is about faith and belief, you do not know things.

What's your purpose of living then? How would I know? I do not know why you were put on earth, because it is our nature to mate and spread us like every other animal? To rule the world? Maybe there is nothing? So if there isn't? Create one instead! Make your own purpose, make your own reason to keep on living, set your goal and say "this is what I am living for" I am not talking about wanting to see or do things, but the fact of being or to be something. What is your goal? Be alive? Live? Be you? Keep on going? Seeing the edge of this world? Decide on your own, don't ask me, I do not know. You can only create your own goal, you can only see it and understand it yourself.

Even when the world can look so horrible and you feel like you rather should die, or you are told that you soon will die because of some illness, telling yourseld "I am going to die, painfully. Why not just end it quickly?" It would seem like the only thing left for you wouldn't it? But we are all going to die. No matter if we want it or not, we are all going to die, we are all going to feel pain, yet we keep on living don't we? It is not our nature to kill yourself, it's nature to keep on living even if you know it can end so quickly, and so on. But it can always. You could die in 20 minutes from now, and right now thousands and thousands of people are dying, and new are born. It's nature, it's how it works, we can die any time, we can die before we even start living, it's just a question about how, when and who we are.

You would have to get up and live on your own. No one can help you living, no one can help you get up on your legs and walk, we can support you and carry, but someday we must let you go and let you walk on your own, because that's how we work. That's why I don't think there is any God in this world who decides how we live, or how we use our life, bad or good, is a question of many things. What's sinful? I really do not know, but I am sure of that you somehow have to figure things out yourself. Sometimes everybody or just a large group of human agree.

I am not so sure God always take so much control of things as we might believe or think.